Civil War II

Steven Wilson
3 min readAug 31, 2020


As our next National Holiday arrives later this week, Oregon, the first state to make Labor Day an official public holiday, is back in the news.

It looks like a production, of what might run at the Qgunquit Playhouse on a cool summer Maine evening.

The actors take the stage in a variety of sweatpants, tee shirts and tank tops. Most with their main message — Turn Your Blue Eyes Brown. Most, if not all wear a mask.

The story begins with a fictitious mayor of a West Coast semi major city (only two professional sports teams) engaged in an enraged online diatribe with the Emperor of the Not So United States of America.

Tweets filled with CAPITAL LETTERS are sent digitally from coast to coast and around the world. All of which are analyzed by foreign governments’ profilers. They say this analysis is considered Classified, so you and the others will not have access to the latest revelations, which could be used to mitigate the situation and lead to a unified strategy.

The tension builds as the Emperor vows to visit Oregon, which “only he can fix” to quell the protests, mostly peaceful, until gun toting militia aligned with the Emperor recently arrived with their war time mindset and tools meant for the hands of the military to be used in war against really bad bad guys.

And then it happens. An older gentleman emerges from his hovel with a plan of peace to end the now three year old Civil War II.

He speaks softly, but his kind ways appeal to the downtrodden masses and they take his message, in their voice to the streets. All shapes, sizes and colors.

Their message is loud and clear: Turn Your Blue Eyes Brown! The protesters insist that Blue Eyed people no longer get to live in the better suburbs, get an outside table at their favorite restaurant, along with seven other demands posted on their Home page.

The last demand is; Brown Eyes be allowed to add their name on the COVID- 25 vaccine list.

Through a series of ongoing events, rallies and social media, the Brown Eyes have made it clear that their №1 demand is to be added to the COVID-25 vaccine list.

They want to be able to have offspring, since the rising number of COVID-25 related deaths, could make Brown Eyes extinct, although the Emperor Tweets that the surviving Brown Eyes from this season’s COVID virus will be assigned to the Empire’s retooled versions of what once were nursing homes.

The Emperor and his Blue Eyed supporters’ attempt to keep the vaccine among themselves has angered the Brown Eyes to the point of no return.

A popular Brown Eyes lament is that the Emperor had multiple Brown Eyed wives and lovers, each giving him children. The most recent being a cute two year old with green eyes, which the Emperor Tweets, “he is not mine”. But the large mane of orange hair a top this gorgeous young baby has left most of the Not So United States of America and the rest of the world not quite convinced.

The old man from the hovel decides to make his way across the Not So United States of America to meet with the mayor of the semi major city along with representatives from both the Blue Eyes and Brown Eyes — the first such meeting since Civil War II began in Charlottesville.

You know the place, “where there were nice people on both sides”.

The meeting takes place in what was a Wendy’s fast food restaurant. Two tables and enough seats remain for the meeting attendees.

As they settled in on the hard backed seats the old man from the hovel welcomed them and thanked them for being part of the solution to end Civil War II.

The old man cracked a smile and shared a story about his days in what was then called the United States Congress. It was about how he brought together a collection of different viewpoints and how over the course of a few days, over what was then called Labor Day Weekend, all sides agreed to end their protests as well as re write the US Constitution’s Second Amendment, so that citizens and illegals in the Not So United States of America could not buy/own AK 47’s et al.

End of Act One



Steven Wilson

Essays that provoke you to consider options on national events.